Pregnancy is a very stressful time for most couples. A lot of couples are in denial about this. In fact, it’s very hard to get the typical couple to even step up and own up to this. But until and unless you are completely honest with yourself and with your partner, you are making things all that much harder on your relationship.

I’ve seen so many horror stories where the female in the relationship felt alone. She was pregnant and for some reason or other, she felt that her husband or boyfriend abandoned her. This doesn’t mean he physically disappeared or he skipped out on the relationship or became a deadbeat dad.

Instead, the male in the relationship became emotionally distant. He’s there physically, but he can only support up to a certain extent. He can only give kind and loving words only in certain contexts.

Too many guys are this way. Why? They are overgrown babies themselves. I know that sounds harsh. I know that sounds suspiciously close to being judgmental but hey, who wants to candy coat the truth when there are so many people suffering? We can’t continue to pretend to be blind to the 800 pound elephant in the room. We have to make sure to call a spade a space or we’ll run into problem after problem.

This really is too bad because pregnancy is a team effort. This was the case in the past, this is the truth now and I suspect this is going to be always true in the future. It’s a joint effort. When your child is born and you made your partner feel that she basically went through pregnancy alone, your kid is going to feel it. Why?

Throughout the pregnancy, your female partner is sending these biochemical signals to the baby. The baby knows. So if you want to be a good father from day 1, start with prenatal attention. In other words, be with your girlfriend, wife or partner as she goes through the pregnancy process. Start as early as the day she saw the pregnancy test and it came out positive.

Be extra attentive. Take her out to lunch. Cook her food. Massage her. Be the best man you can be for the future mother of your child. Another way to do this is to look at the failings of your own father and how emotionally distant or abusive he was and resolve to be a completely different man. In other words, whatever failings your dad had on you and whatever love he failed to give you, give to your partner.

Regardless of how you do it, do it. A lot is at stake. One of the best ways to make this happen is to invest in prenatal and postnatal massage by certified therapist. This can go a long way in helping ensure your partner goes through what would otherwise be a grueling pregnancy experience with flying colors.